One of the challenges for every wedding is meaningfully including family members and friends while keeping the ceremony within a manageable timeframe.
First, remember that the wedding is a weekend event, not just a 30-minute ceremony. There is the rehearsal, the rehearsal dinner, getting ready, the ceremony, and the reception. Some traditional roles allow people to feel like they have a part in it. The rehearsal dinner often centers around the groom’s family. Usually, the groom’s family sponsors or hosts this dinner.
The reception usually focused on the bride's family. The father usually offers a toast, blessing, or short speech. The Maid of Honor and the Best Man also offer a speech.
The mothers usually have a role in the ceremony with a unity candle or something similar.
So, if you have a friend or sibling who does not have a role, how can you include them? Or, you have a very special aunt or uncle, but they are not your parents and are not in the wedding party. What can you do to include them?
One of the easiest things to do is offer someone to do a reading during the ceremony. If you have been to weddings, primarily indoor or church/ cathedral ceremonies, you have seen people offer readings. When asking someone to do a reading, it's important to be clear about what you're asking, express why you think they would be perfect for the role, and give them the freedom to decline if they're uncomfortable.
Here are my recommendations when it comes to readings:
1. No one will remember what anyone reads; they will likely remember who read something at your wedding. Jokingly, I tell people the reader can read the alphabet if they want to; the reader is more important. The reader's identity, their relationship to you, and their personal style can significantly impact the reading's emotional resonance and the overall atmosphere of your ceremony.
2. One reading is sufficient; two is the absolute maximum. Truthfully, whether your reading is a poem, a portion of scripture, or an excerpt from a book, all the readings tend to sound the same and blur people's minds. If you are doing a Catholic ceremony, typically, there are four readings: an Old Testament reading, a Psalm, a Gospel Reading, and another New Testament reading. And those ceremonies (assuming communion is included) are upwards of an hour or longer.
3. Never allow anyone to get up and say anything during the ceremony off the cuff. Make sure readers are reading what you have asked them to read. An “open mic” allows people to ramble, say something inappropriate, or inevitably they begin talking about themselves. None of those are good.
A reading is an easy element to enhance your ceremony and include special people on your important day. Below is a link to our entire packet of readings, including religious and non-religious readings. Enjoy.