October 25, 2019
There are two goals in the race to your wedding day. Goal #1 is ceremony preparation. Goal #2 is marriage preparation. These are not one and the same. And truthfully, you need to win at both.
Wedding Day is unlike any other day. There is energy and excitement. It is a joy to step into the lives of a couple at their happiest moment. But wedding day aside, I enjoy talking with couples about their relationship, all the days before and after. There is always a fascinating journey (sometimes a broken road as well) that leads the couple together. While every aisle is paved with obstacles, every love story is beautiful in how they overcome them.
But there is a harsh reality to wedding day. It is the day after! Once the wedding is over, there is a coming down off the mountain. And that "cool down" process means returning to work and getting on with this new chapter. The "high" of wedding day cannot be maintained indefinitely. The premarital counseling process ensures the days, months, and years after are fruitful and meaningful.
The "high" of wedding day cannot be maintained indefinitely.
Sometimes, couples whisper (or shout) on their wedding day, “We did it!” And there is a real sense of crossing the finish line on wedding day. Coordinating this massive event is no small feat; every year, it seems like weddings get bigger and crazier. While I cannot say it on the wedding day, I want to pull the couple aside and remind them this isn’t the finish line. The clap of the starter pistol has just shocked you from the running blocks. The race has just begun.
The race has just begun
I have used several counseling tools in my work with couples, but the SYMBIS assessment is our "premium" tool. SYMBIS stands for Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, and even the title speaks powerfully. We are not just hoping or wishing; we are actively saving, even before it begins.
I heard a story once about a kayaking instructor. To learn kayaking, he had to teach students how to handle certain situations if they were in distress; if the boat flipped over or if worse came to worse, they had to be rescued! The instructor would say, "Participate in your own rescue." Wise words on the water and wise words for couples. Participating or planning for your rescue ensures that a marriage also does not capsize. SYMBIS helps you be the rescuer the lifeguard of your marriage, even before it is in trouble.
You can build your marriage on more than a hope and a prayer. The SYMBIS and SYMBIS+ Assessments give you a personalized road map to making your marriage everything it was meant to be.
SYMBIS is as assessment developed by Les and Leslie Parrott. It is a comprehensive marriage preparation program. SYMBIS covers everything: finances, personalities, conflict styles, communication preferences and your love life. SYMBIS looks at the motivations for why you two are together and what your mindsets and motivations for marriage truly are.
The process takes a couple all the way to answering some of the most profound questions about what you really want in this relationship. These conversations help couples dive deep and develop a soul-to-soul connection.
For WeddingChaplain.com wedding couples, first and foremost, we do not require you to take the SYMBIS assessment. It is optional. But we strongly recommend it. If our couples want to take the SYMBIS assessment and have us facilitate the conversation and process, the cost is an additional $150, which covers the cost of the assessment tool as well. We just incorporate SYMBIS into our premarital counseling process. If SYMBIS is something you would like to explore, contact us now. Typically, SYMBIS would be three to four additional meetings above the two meetings we usually do with our engaged couples.
We would be more than happy to take you through the SYMBIS assessment as a married couple. Many couples got engaged and got too focused on the ceremony part. They are a few years into a marriage and realize they may need some work. In the course of answering the assessment questions, once SYMBIS knows you are married, the experience will be tailored to you. Whether you are newlyweds or have been together for twenty years, it can be an incredible reboot for your relationship. For married couples, the cost is $300, which covers the meetings and the assessment tool. Most couples can complete the process in three or four sessions.
We frequently encounter this. Maybe you have a pastor who is already conducting your ceremony. Or perhaps a friend or family member is performing the ceremony, and you honestly don't want them to conduct your counseling or are not trained to do so. For these couples, the cost is $300, which covers the meetings and the assessment tool. Again, most couples can complete the process in 3 to 4 meetings.
No worries. We can hold meetings over the phone or on Zoom. If we officiated your wedding years ago, we would love to walk you through SYMBIS.
We send you an email invitation to the assessment. Once both partners finish taking the online questionnaire, the report will be sent to your facilitator. The report is then forwarded to the couple, and we schedule our first meeting. If you would like to get started with SYMBIS, click on the Facilitator Badge below or send us an email at david@weddingchaplain.com
