September 16, 2019
When a couple begins the process of transitioning from dating to engagement or starts premarital counseling, two essential components are crucial.
The first is a discussion of compatibility. Age, Education, Family Backgrounds, Relationship History, Values. These are the basics. Do you even have enough “glue” to continue moving forward? These are essential questions for the couple to ask.
After a couple has usually been together for two years or more, they can see these things more clearly. A minister, officiant, or premarital counselor will ask questions in these areas just to build a foundation. Once a couple knows they are a good fit and has decided on an engagement, they move into another phase. Or in other words, someone popped a question with a ring. Couples who know they are a good fit for each other must maintain their relationship. Being perfect for each other does not happen by chance. Meaning, just because your relationship is a sports car, it doesn't mean that the sports car doesn’t need maintenance. But what is the way that we maintain the relationship? It is a straightforward concept…Dating.
It is a very simple concept…Dating.
Dating is the practice of maintaining a relationship. I like to call dating the lab or the workshop for relationships. Sometimes, people will offer advice on how to improve your relationship. But when and how do we do this? No one goes home and puts "Relationship Time" on their calendars. How can we improve our relationship? We spend time together.
Often, once a couple gets engaged or committed, the practice of dating tends to wane. Dating is how you both found each other. Why would any couple who loves each other stop doing the activity that brought them together? It is not intentional. The reality comes from something innocent. Once the couple occupies the same space, they see each other frequently. So, the importance of going on a date doesn’t always register. When I wake up, my partner is there. When I go to sleep, my partner is there. However, it doesn’t mean you're on an endless date. Seeing my spouse all the time doesn’t mean that I see her, or that I am actively seeing her. You might believe that simply being in the presence of your fiancée or spouse is all you need. Well, if you have been together for more than two years, you know that is not the case.
Time together without dating can look more like time served than time well spent.
So, how can we avoid falling into a relationship rut? Date. On a regular, weekly basis, you need to go out on a date. Dating allows you to continue learning about each other and seeing each other. You fell in love while dating. If you stop doing this, you are inviting problems. And it is the easiest thing to do to maintain your relationship. So if you want a healthy relationship, go on a date!
For further proof, check out these articles:
cover image: Michael Damron
main image: Photo by Vija Rindo Pratama: https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-holding-baby-s-breath-flower-in-front-of-woman-standing-near-marble-wall-935789/
article image: Photo by Shvets Anna: https://www.pexels.com/photo/kissing-couple-wearing-black-jackets-2626720/